Sunday, June 26, 2011

Culturally cultural things! Well almost!

Wednesday
One of Stephan's friend ( yes another actress) invited us to a play in Leicester Square and as I'm in the mood for culcha, Yesss lets do it! On the way, while he could not stop staring at 3 hot chicks legs on the escalator, he warned me about the particularity of this play. It is actually a kind of live workshop type of thing. It is apparently a new thing that they are doing. During one hour, the audience have to create the play and the director, actors, scriptwriter and costume designer have to work with it after to create a 10 minutes play! Oh no so does that mean that i would have to participate??? Hmm not so sure about that!
Leicester square is always so busy, i mean it's Wednesday! Do Londoners ever sleep?? If i walked in Rose-hill on a Wednesday night all i would see is a few people queuing up for Vona Corona. ( hmmm i want an almond Vona corona with lots of rouge rouge) Here you see all these party people. I need to do that, go clubbing, wear a tiny dress in cold London. Tie a tag to my hand bag which would say:
If i get drunk do not let me:

1. Puke on my dress because i need to bring it back to the shop tomorrow for refund.
2. Post a status on my Facebook saying that i wish my ex was dead
3. Kiss a total stranger unless he get me a drink or if he is a footballer
4. Skinny dip in the Tate River
5. Show my tits on  CCTV.

So here we are and it's not quite what i was expecting. I thought that it would be a bigger venue but great vibe. They don't have red velvet chair but they sure know how to entertain their crowd. There are two women dressed like gypsy fiddling into a big box full of fabrics, one of them is stephan's friend. Very cute girl quite hippie like. Apparently she runs this company where they clean houses with eco friendly products and sells this service super cheap just to help protect the planet. May seem silly said like that but think about it... not bad, not bad at all...

Here comes the director, thin guy with braces pulling his pants up... kind of geek look but interesting. He screams '' Dim the lights, no not that much, no not that bright'' i understand that it's part of the show. He starts to explain the concept. That's gonna be interesting. So here we go we have to come up with a story.
So he basically asks what we would like the play to be and after all the input it will be a Greek tragedy/comedy in France in the 1920's. It will be the story of Jacques the wine seller, Paul the Naughty man and Martin a gay-lien (a gay alien). As the director said '' it's your story and you will have to watch it''
He now needs a French in the audience who will guide the actors in their french accent. Any french in the audience? no? anyone having relatives in french? No but i speak french though but non non non Stephan don't say anything! Anyone from an exotic place? This one i can do but my voice is covered by someone else screaming Birmingham! Honestly Biiiirmingham? I was going for Mauritius and you say Beeermingham!!
While the script is being written and projected live on a screen and the seamstress create the costumes for the play that we've create,the director entertains us with rather imaginative tricks. Like when he asked the actors to have a conversation without a, e and i in any of the words they use. They were actually really good. You try that... have a fluent conversation with someone without those 3 basic letters! Or have a conversion where the start to your phrase would be in alphabetical order.

After the one hour we had to create the play, story, script, costume, props, of course we had to watch our play. It turned out that our gaylien want to stay on earth but is allergic to oxygen and falls in love with the wine maker. I know the story seems crap from where you are but i lolled all the time! It was very entertaining! Bec was really good actually. Check them out on FB

Thursday
Nothing worth a Wank!

Friday
 I packed like an ass and I'm left with only 2 pair of jeans that i've been wearing for the last 2 weeks coz i cant freaking put any other skirts or dress! God i miss my wardrobe. I miss my bedroom actually. It's so cosy. I have this big bed to myself, with Sheraton bedding, you know Sheraton has been awarded most comfortable bedding yeah? They were selling it at Game and got the whole thing. oh I miss my soft immaculate white bed sheet that i spray with lavender every morning. I miss seeing all my shoes on my wardrobe all shiny and glossy. I miss struggling to find something in my packed accessory drawer. Or opening all the 4 doors of my wardrobe and seeing all my clothes neatly folded, not the stuff on the hangers though, that's a total mess.. 
Here i am, staring at these 2 tiny drawers with 2 jeans , 4 tops and 10 dresses what the fuck was i thinking about when i packed?? That's it, enough with the monkey business ! I need to go shopping! i need clothes, warm clothes, socks, new jeans, another pair of shoes, i need a haircut, i need a manicure a pedicure i need my eyebrows shaped by amazing Naveeda i need a fucking Porsche Cayene and James Blunt by my side ( yeah what! i love James Blunt, us two would get along very well as friends) Oh my Buddha just the thought of going to do all this give me a tiny orgasm! i'm hearing a choir of nun's singing hallelujah (oups sorry mum)

5 hours after
Result of this prospected amazing day. Two tops, a handful of accessories, one handbag, no shoes, no manicure, no pedicure, no amazing Naveeda, no Porsche, no James Blunt! ROT IN HELL MARGARETTE!! A blind man even screamed at me because i saw that he was struggling to do something and offered  help, he screamed that he didn't need my help in crowded oxford street. I'll never try to help a blind man again never ever. i'm blindmenphobic now. Just like the dwarfphobic woman in desperate housewives.

Victoria and Albert Museum
I have to meet Stephan at South ken to go to a gig. You would think that a museum is just a place with lots of art stuff and statues yeah? But on Friday nights they have special events there. They have a dj and a bar. Yes in a museum, amongst pieces of art, Statues and graves of famous people. There's quite a good crowd as well, the music is great, they are playing south African music and sipping a Mojito while checking on this cute chapel is something i never thought i'd ever do. I'd get Wed here. Like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex in the City. But i would not want to be dumped in a Vivienne Westwood dress though. By the way anyone know why they took the Penis off some of the Sculptures? I think i need a Gin and tonic to understand that. Stephan is pissed off coz i'm not showing real interest but hold on, You offer me drinks and then you want me to do real art critics? Lets do that again when i'm sober bro!

Saturday

I had emotions that i can't possibly think of typing on a keyboard. So i'll let you appreciate some of it for yourselves. I hope you will be able to watch it outside the UK ( you know, sometimes they block ip thinggy) There was the screening of Robots of Brixton at the brick box in Brixton village. The images, the music, everything, everything was perfect! Out of this world. I wish i was taller so i could appreciate it better without having to sneak peak over the big hair of this dude in front of me but it's ok... They showed five short films, this one of my favorite, check it out. Man i'm so lucky to be in this city. 






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